something's very wrong i know. but what exactly is the problem i dont know. i just cant take it any longer. i'm on the verge of giving up, exploding. i've been having countless headaches and i spend most of my time stoning, just thinking about it. sigh. training was great for it made me forget my worries for a while. and i'm glad my hits improved. but it didnt really lift my mood. i'm confused i'm worried i'm paraniod i'm scared i'm depressed. i hate this. but i cant seem to get out of this. no one to listen no one to save me. i feel as if i'm sinking in further and further and i cant get out.